Last weekend, I spent mother’s day with some pretty special mothers and it felt like a perfect way to celebrate. We talked about our journeys and how people’s comments can be hurtful.
As I have worked with many mothers over the years, I have come to appreciate the rainbows of life choices, circumstances and impossible situations.
When we talk about parenthood during our courses, we discuss the individuality of stories. Some people share some very personal stuff and some don’t.
I have come to the realisation that it is close to never OK to ask if people want to become parents, or if and when they want more children. I don’t mean that you can never talk about these topics but unless someone is opening up to you, there is often rawness behind it.
The ones who want to become parents and cannot.
The ones who don’t want to become parents and do get pregnant.
The ones who don’t want to become parents and are met with constant criticism.
The ones who have had miscarriages.
The ones whose babies did not stay.
The ones who went through fertility treatments.
The ones who had a surrogate.
The ones who want one more but their partners do not support it.
The ones who had one more but didn’t want to.The ones who have many children.
The ones who want to adopt.
The ones who don’t want to adopt.
The ones who miss their parents.
The ones who get disappointed cycles after cycles.
The ones whose stories are a locked treasure box.
The ones who are too scared to share their story because it hurts, because they feel judged, because of the questions, because of trauma, because only they know…
To all of you who have shared pieces of your heart with me, this weekend or previously, I thank you.
To all of you I hurt by asking questions, please accept my apologies.
However you celebrate mothers’ day, or any other family celebration day, remember that humans go beyond cards and flowers. Remember to connect and support those who can’t feel the joy in the way that you might, and maybe pause before asking private questions…